Undercover
by The Pootamis
Summary: She was deep uncover and nobody suspected a thing. She could only smile whenever she pictured the look of shock that would come across her former puddin's face when he hears the news. But if she had one wish. It was to be in there with them instead of being locked out on the outside babysitting the city!


Keeping her eyes trained on the skies above with only the sound of her companions whining at her feet being heard bringing cigarette back into her mouth only to lean her head back up against the wall behind her blowing out a puff of smoke as she briefly closes her eyes just for a quick second suddenly the sound of a silent footsteps coming from her right causes Harley's lips to curl up into a small smile.

" Took you long enough."

Opening her eyes turning her head as she watches a figure emerging out of the darkness, hearing the sound of a small growl coming from her feet leaning off the wall kneeling down gently Harley rubs the back of Lou's ears with her free hand silencing him.

" It's okay boys. He's with me."

Retracting her hand slowly rising up to her feet with a flick of her wrist instantly Harley flicks her cigarette down to the ground and brings her boot down on top twisting and turning before she turns back to look towards this new arrival finding him just a few feet away from her with an emotionless look across his face. A look that just makes her pout before she takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between them resting her hands down on his kevlar.

" What's wrong? I don't bite."

Receiving nothing but a raised eyebrow in question rolling her eyes rearing back Harley slaps her left hand against his kevlar.

" Alright fine! It was only one time and you know, I can get frisky in the heat of the moment!"

Suddenly for a split second as she sees his lips flicker upward beaming in success leaning up until she is on her tiptoes gently Harley presses her lips to his own. A kiss that many would have thought long ago would be one sided. Who wouldn't? The hero and the villainess? There was an unwritten law about such a thing occurring. If only they knew the truth. If only those that thought this could see the scene now as his arms come to wrap around her waist pulling her close to his chest while her arms snake around the back of his cowl bringing his head down closer. But it couldn't be seen. Not at the moment anyways but soon. Soon this would become public knowledge but first they have a job to do. A job to ensure the capture of a deranged clown. A clown that has been surprisingly quiet these past couple of months. What he was planning none had any clue of. What they did know was he was up to something and they needed to know what. And she had been the key. The spy in his little gang. It was so easy to play her part. Play the part of the hopeless woman madly in love with the deranged clown listening to his every word just waiting for him to spill the beans. A dangerous game they were playing but they are so close to finally getting him locked away once and for all with no chance of ever escaping. And they weren't alone in this little scheme. No they have an insider also working her end. Working to see if she hears any sort of chatter within the walls of Arkham. The place that had been overheard to be where this scheme would take place.

" You know? Red gonna be pissed if she finds out we're having fun without her."

Feeling his right hand leaving her side and trickle downward only to reappear causing a little gasp to escape her lips when his hand comes to grip a tight hold of her ass cheek smirking upwards reaching down Harley lays a hand down on Batman's cheek.

" I always knew you like my assets."

Bringing his head back down towards her once again as she presses her lips to his after a couple of seconds Harley lets out a sigh and pouts when she feels him breaking it off.

" Later. First we have a job to do."

Sighing in defeat nodding her head in understanding snapping open her eyes with a look of determination quickly coming across her face with a smile reaching down Harley takes Batman's hand within her own.

" Right. Happy fun time later. First deal with clown and rescue Red. Then plant the seeds to something better."

* * *

It was too simple. Way too simple. It was like he wanted to be captured. But what for? A clown that just stares at him with this sickening smile as he follows after him. A clown that continues to sprout off comment after comment as he is strapped to a table with numerous members of the arkham staff surrounding him with weapons of all sorts being trained on him. What was going on in the clown's mind he would never know. In fact he didn't even want to know. What he did know was something wasn't right about all of this. Everything had been too easy. The Joker captured without much of a fight. His gang subdued and dealt with without so much as breaking a sweat. His hideout wasn't that hard to find. Wasn't that hard to maneuver around undetected. Even if the security measures had been deactivated thanks to his connection from within. But even now this clown seemed to calm. So calm like he was in control of the situation. Whatever the case maybe he was coming into this prepared not taking any chances. By now Jim Gordon has secretly made his way through the asylum with a few officers guarding him heading directly for one cell. His undercover informant. A woman that had imprisoned herself here inside of these walls for the past three months with a simple statement of she was the right woman for the job. With her unique connection to mother nature she would be able to hear every little whisper and rumor that would spread around these grounds. And by now she should be out of her cell being escorted secretly through the facility by the commissioner with nobody noticing. He could only hope that she has some more information to share with him. The last bit had been rather shocking. Johnathan Crane had been planning to unleash his toxic fear gas through the sewers beneath this facility. A rather shocking and yet not too surprising scheme on his part. But how he was going to escape his cell? Now that remained a mystery still. Though he wouldn't be given a chance. No the moment the scheme had been heard he had been transported out from this facility trading these walls for another. Where exactly he was being held now was a mystery he would solve one day. Amanda Walker could be frustrating at times.

* * *

" Ms Isley?"

Turning her attention away from the book in her hands looking over towards her side at the glass door as she sees Commissioner Gordan standing at the door with a friendly smile while his police escorts are seen in the background lowering the book down to her lap Poison Ivy gives him a questionable look.

" It's time."

Receiving the message loud and clear closing her book with a thud rising up to her feet to the sound of her unique cell door being undone waiting patiently by her bed slowly Poison Ivy watches Gordan enter into her cell with his right hand clutching a metal briefcase. A briefcase that she watches being extended out towards her.

" Our mutual friend told me to bring you this."

Nodding her head gently taking the briefcase out of his hand returning over to the bed resting the briefcase on top undoing the locks with silent clicks with a flick of her wrists slowly Poison Ivy opens up the briefcase before a bright smile comes across her face. Everything she needed was here like he said it would. Her suit. Her green and black suit. A suit that she can't help but take out brining it down to rest against the side of the bed before revealing more hidden within. The small earpiece attachment strapped to the bottom of the suitcase along with her own grappling hook. But what makes her smile is an envelope tucked within. An envelope that she knew who the sender is right away by the way it is sealed with noticeable red lipstick. An envelope that she makes quick work opening causing a small photo to be left behind within before she lets out a chuckle when she reads the contents on the piece of paper ignoring the photo for the time being.

_Red_

_I can't wait to see you again. Even if the big oaf won't admit it he's looking forward to seeing you again. All of you again if you get what i mean(wink). In the meantime until you cute butt is safely returned back to my side i've left you something to help encourage you to return back to us asap._

_Harls_

Folding up the paper returning her attention back towards the envelope reaching within to grasp the photo slowly Poison Ivy turns over the photograph before her eyes go wide. A sight that instantly she likes. A sight that makes her hot and heavy as her heart pounds loudly in her chest. There they are. Her two companions. Her two secret lovers standing in what looks to be some sort of greenhouse. Harley smiling brightly at the camera in nothing but red underwear with the camera pointing downward showing just who exactly had taken the photo. As for the other. Well everything she sees coming from him just makes her smirk and shake her head. The Batman. Her Batman kneeling down shirtless with only a pair of black boxers on while he wears his cowl to hide his secret identity just showing that even in a simple photograph he was being cautious.

* * *

" You know something? I thought being a superhero would be kinda cool. You know? Go out kicking the snot out of some bad guys. Going home getting laid by my prince charming. But sitting out here most of the time kicking stones really sucks!"

Taking another swig from the cigarette in her hand puffing out another mouthful of smoke in the form of a heart as she brings her head back down to rest against the wall behind her the sound of static coming from her earpiece causes her to take another swig.

" You get used to it."

Letting out a snort puffing out another mouthful of smoke flicking the cigarette in her hand away kneeling down until she is between Lou and Bud reaching down gently Harley rubs the back of their ears causing happy panting to come from her loyal pets.

" Hardly. You do know that it is rude to keep a girl waiting right."

Suddenly as she hears static once again coming through her ear piece before she has a chance to respond instantly Harley's face lights up into a bright smile when she hears a throat being cleared on the other side.

" She's right you know but lucky for you, I don't hold grudges for long…."

" Red!?"

Hearing a giggle through her ear piece with her smile only widening Harley snaps up to her feet causing her dogs to whine from loss of contact.

" Hey Harls. Thanks for the photo by the way. It was very ...pleasurable to look at."

Letting out a giggle reaching back into her pocket for her box of cigarettes putting a cigarette in her mouth just as she brings her lighter up suddenly her hand comes to a sudden halt when a throat is cleared on the other side.

" Oh? And Harls? Lose the cigarettes. I promise to give you something more pleasurable to suck on later."

Unable to help her eyes from going wide as saucers and her mouth drop open causing the cigarette in her mouth to fall silently to the ground glancing back and forth between her pack of smokes and her lighter without any delay Harley tosses the lighter away and drops the pack down before crushing it beneath her boot.

* * *

" Stupid Riddler! Hey riddle me this!? What's black and blue and hurts all over!? I'll tell you! Your face after i curve stop it into the pavement and rip your balls off feeding them to Lou and Bud!"

Earning a growl in response tightening her hold on her faithful companions leashes rounding the corner of a nearby alleyway glancing up towards what was told to be an abandoned building switching hands really quick to snatch the smaller tracking device off from her belt looking down as she finds the dot pointing directly towards the building with a determined look reattaching the tracker to her belt with Bud and Lou leading the way slowly Harley approaches the building. This was her job on this night. To track down the annoying blonde menace that likes to talk in riddles. A prima donna if she says so herself. This annoying little cockroach that has been broadcasting across every signal police channel causing even more problems for the boys in blue. Causing even more problems for her companions locked inside of the asylum with her former lover causing her to play babysitter for the city in their absence. She wished she could be inside the asylum like they are. From everything she has been hearing over the ear piece it sounded like they were having more fun than she was. But she supposed this would have to do.

Coming to a stop in front of the entrance doors taking a quick glance to her left followed by her right seeing nothing suspicious without any delay Harley opens up the entrance doors silently and walks inside with Lou and Bud following close after her. Dogs that the moment the entrance doors close growl. A growl that causes her to look down finding him showing their teeth. Such a sight that brings a smirk to her face as her grip on their leashes loosens.

" That's it boys. Go get him!"

Suddenly the moment she releases their leashes Harley can only grin when Bud and Lou shoot forward like they were shot out of a cannon. Dogs that disappear around the corner before the sound of them rushing up stairs echoes off the walls. Stairs that she quickly finds before a satisfied smile comes to her face when she hears a scream of pain echoing through the air. A scream that she follows happily skipping up the steps humming a tune to herself. This silent humming that comes to a stop when she stops at an open doorway and smirks when she sees what is going on inside of the room. Bud and Lou had found him. Had found the annoying menace and were now using him as a personal chew toy while The Riddler screams out in pain. Screams out in pain as Lou bites down hard on his right arm while Bud is seen with his teeth sunk hard between the blonde's legs. A scene that she could stare at for hours. In fact, she was in no rush to help the annoying blonde and she makes it known when she simply leans against the open doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a satisfied smile across her face as his eyes come up to plead with her own.

" Please! Help me!?"

Bringing her right hand up without paying him a glance Harley inspects her nails causing his eyes to go even wider.

" Are you going to be a good boy from now on?"

" Yes!"

" Are you lying to me?"

" No!"

" Hmmm?"

Tapping her index finger gently against her chin after a couple of seconds to Riddler's horror slowly Harley shakes her head.

" I don't believe you but i'll tell you what. I'll let you off the hook this one time if you can solve a simple riddle for me."

Leaning off the doorway making her way inside of the room slowly Harley kneels down until she is resting by Bud's side and gently lays a hand down petting the fur on his back while her eyes remain trained on The Riddler.

" Riddle me this. If a Riddler's balls are torn off and nobody is there to see it, does he make a sound?"


End file.
